Sweet Success

Back when I was a young single guy living under a rock, Feb 15th was Half Price Valentine's Day Candy Day, and I'd reward my restraint by snarfing down double rations of the chocolate covered goodness. I thought it was pretty clever to get twice the goodies just by waiting one extra day.

Now that I'm, uh, wiser, I've come to realize the benefits that come with marriage and family. Specifically, that one can score seriously more sucrose-based nodules by being the only guy in a house full of chicks. All you have to do is establish the tradition that everyone gives everyone else Valentine's Day Candy, and the box count increases exponentially with the size of the family. As the only male in the household, it's my right, nay, my solemn duty, to save them from eating too much chocolate. I expect the violent involuntary shaking of my hands and limbs is burning off most of the calories anyway.